did you get the best of me?

I don’t mean that in a ‘no one else will ever get me like you did, you took the very best parts of me when you left’ kind of way. in the way… Continue reading →

a January reminder.

I have decided, the only way to live, is to embrace the grief, too. for grief only exists where love lived first or, at least that’s what they say.

I took care of myself

and it wasn’t beautiful, or an act of grace. I took care of myself, and looked at the long overdue slew of text messages and missed calls in the face, even though it… Continue reading →

a confession of sorts.

I probably would have gotten over you a lot sooner if I hadn’t have put you into everything that I wrote, into every damn love song that hit the radio. you’ve lingered like… Continue reading →

from the growing season:

I thought about calling you today but,

truth is, I can water all of the plants in my 200 square foot room but, I cannot water myself down in such a way that would promise you wouldn’t choke, or drown.… Continue reading →

7.26.23

one day you’re 16, and you think to yourself, “I hope I don’t wake up.” and then you turn 18, then 20, then 26, and you start to think, quietly at first, “I… Continue reading →

from a voice memo driving down I-17.

it’s been a long time since you died, 12 years to be exact, and it hasn’t gotten any easier to accept you’re gone; I’ve just learned to live with missing you, to make… Continue reading →

on our last good day,

on our last good day, we danced on toes around the kitchen. you made pasta, and we used the fun sauce. the fancy one we never buy except for rainy day occasions. you… Continue reading →

entry #31

I don’t remember much after May 31, 2011. partly because I don’t wish to relive it but, mostly because I was 16 then with a heart breaking faster than I could mend it… Continue reading →